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When Hope Rises

When we left the private clinic from getting the diagnostic injection, I was told that I'd be extremely sore and to give it a few days before I could give an accurate answer as to how I was feeling in my joint. The soreness was more of a bruisy feeling and I'd take that feeling any day over what I regularly felt. After three days, the pain wasn't completely gone anymore but more of a background noise that I could manage better.

I decided to cease the day and enjoy this freeing feeling in my body. It was near Mother's Day and I requested that, as a family, we go on an adventure to find this wildflower field that I heard about and to be able to take pictures to my heart's content.

I am so grateful that we got to experience this as a family and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

My youngest daughter had this longing in her heart for me to carry her. She missed out a chunk of time when she was little because I had gotten in the accident before she had turned two. I sometimes wonder if it's this seed of rejection that she felt and still feels. Her eyes have filled with tears many times, telling me how much she just wished I could carry her in my arms. I decided that since the injection was still holding for a bit that, that was my priority to pick her up. We were visiting my sister one day and I had brought my camera and asked her to capture this moment for us.

I started researching Si Joint Dysfunction stuff again because of what the Anesthesiologist had stated to me after I had the diagnostic injection. This is when I came across this personal story on Youtube. Her story was very similar to my story, the only difference was hers was due to giving birth and mine was due to a car accident.

I cried and cried tears of deep pain but also tears of hope watching this video and hearing her story. I decided to try and get in touch with her, along with others that had this surgery. I also became apart of different Facebook support groups to hear from others like me and how this surgery affected their lives. The surgery isn't approved in Canada and I would have to go to the US to get it done. The cost, from what I found with hospital care, procedure, hotel, etc would be close to $100,000. After reading and talking to numerous people about the surgery, some got better and others still struggled or now had other problems. I found out that some people that had the surgery and later down the road wanted the screws taken out, couldn't find a doctor to do the procedure. My hope went from super excited to the possibility of getting my life back, to back to where I was with no idea of what to do next.

I had gotten about a month and a bit of relief and then I was back to the usual pain that I experienced on a regular basis, but oh the sweetness of what hope brings.


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