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Operation Get Better

Moving to the island felt like a breath of fresh air. I felt more free than I ever had felt before. Before we had moved, I had a few friends tell me that I shouldn't expect to make any real friends until at least a year or more into it. I decided that friendship could wait and since it would take so long to make connections, I decided I would turn all of my focus on getting better. I called it my "operation get better."

Within the first month and a bit of living on the island, the car insurance company had set up a Discovery with their lawyer. This is where they can ask you any and every question about you and your situation related to the accident. I had about three different meetings with my own lawyers to prepare me for this. They told me that no matter what, be honest and to only answer the question and not to defend myself. My lawyers also told me that it's nothing like what I had seen on T.V. and there was nothing to worry about. I was so relieved to hear that.

The day came for the Discovery. Before we met with the car insurance lawyer, me and my lawyer had a meeting just before. When we entered the room, there was a little side table with little snacks and candies, a coffee machine, pitcher of water, and juice boxes. There was this very long table and at the one end sat the typist. I took a seat right next to my lawyer, and the car insurance lawyer, who was an older man that looked like he was in his late 50's, sat right across from me. When we were to begin, they had a microphone set up that also recorded what we said and had to test it before we got started. Then the typist turned to me and asked me to swear over the Bible that I would only speak the truth, I of course did. Then what came next felt just like what I had seen in the movies, but instead of watching it, I was experiencing it first hand. All that my lawyers had told me about how it wasn't going to be like T.V. was wrong. I had an over three hour grueling meeting, which was more like an interrogation with this lawyer. I did exactly what I was told and told the truth and yet when I would answer the question my words got twisted which made me want to correct and defend myself. I felt completely bullied and there were many moments where he was deliberately trying to humiliate me. He had a binder that was about two inches thick full of every appointment and notes that went along with it. Little did I know that some of the personal and private conversations that I was having with some of my practitioners, were all recorded. He took things out of context and took super embarrassing things that I've had to walk through and threw them in my face. I was treated as if I was a liar and like this accident was all of my fault. I would answer the question as best as I could but if it wasn't what he wanted to hear, he'd rephrase the question and repeatedly ask it over and over. When you aren't used to this type of situation or having a typist recording you as you speak, you don't realize how much in the North American culture we really use body language and facial expressions as well as just knowing what the person is going to ask mid sentence, and so it's automatic to finish someone's sentence before they need to finish it, until you get verbally reprimanded repeatedly and told "I. am. not. finished. my. question. Do. not. interrupt. me. and you need to apologize to the typist." I felt humiliated and very embarrassed. I wasn't intentionally trying to be rude in anyway, it was really awful. Sometime in the meeting, the car insurance lawyer started asking me a very personal and inappropriate question, which is when my lawyer had to jump in and tell him to stop. I don't know why such treatment is necessary or why they put people who are already going through such a hard time in their health, through so much stress. I thought that maybe if they could see that I was honest and not lying and completely open about everything, it would all get better for me. When all was said and done, I couldn't help but obsessively play over and over the conversation in my mind. I couldn't sleep for the next few nights and ended up giving my lawyers a call and telling them how in my head I was. They told me that I did great and that this was a normal reaction and they hear this a lot from people that go through Discovery's.

I told my lawyer's that I never want to be put through something like that again and that they needed to figure this stuff out for me and wrap it up because I didn't know how much more I could take. My spirit was broken and felt so weary. Unfortunately, my lawyers informed me that at any time the insurance company could do this but only on the current time period, none of the time period that we had just covered in our last Discovery. My anxiety was at an all time high, which really didn't help my situation. At this point in time, we were driving every week an hour and forty five minutes one way to Victoria, for my pelvic floor physiotherapy, and doing massage therapy as well.

While we were living in the hotel, I decided to go to a mom's group at a church, to try and make connections and to see if anyone had any leads on a family doctor. As time went on, one woman opened up to the group about how she suffered with a lot of neck pain and debilitating headaches but since she started going to Bowen therapy, those were things of the past. I thought, "Wow, maybe I was meant to be at this group to hear about this treatment." I approached her and asked for her practitioner's name and decided to research and pray about it. I decided to give it a try but knew now that I only would need about five treatments to know if it was working for me or not. I booked my appointment with her and told her my plan and she agreed. When it came time for the fifth treatment, I already knew that it wasn't doing anything for me and so I told her that I would be stopping my treatments with her. She was so sweet and was determined to help and so she offered me free treatments because she had a few more techniques that she wanted to try on me. She had told me many testimonies of different people that she had helped over the years and was sure that she could make a difference for me. Unfortunately, her other techniques didn't work either and we ended our time together. I was so grateful for her and her kindness. My girls had made her friendship bracelets and cards and she had taken a little attachment to us. We would get postcards in the mail from her travels, which made my girl's day!

I was born and raised in the same church for almost thirty years of my life, and so it was fun trying out different churches and trying to figure out where we were meant to be. After awhile, my girls got really tired of not having a regular church home and begged me to just stay at one place. We ended up going to a church, which was the eighth church that we had tried out. At one point me and Brandon looked at each other and knew right away that, that was where we were meant to be. Every Sunday I would have to stuff my pockets with tissue because tears would just stream down my face every week. Crying at church was never a thing that I normally did and so it felt really out of character for me. I remember visiting with an older friend and telling her this, and she said "Sweetie, those tears are a washing of the Holy Spirit over you, let the tears flow." I can honestly say that this church has become our family and we are so grateful to be apart of it.

My girls were still longing for friendships and so I decided to put on my big girl pants and take the girls to a back to school homeschool picnic. I unexpectedly met two amazing women that have become very dear friends and they both had girls that were close in age with mine. One of them just lived down the street from us and the other went to the same church as us! I also started going to a Mom's connect group that was connected to our church and made some very close friendships there too! I couldn't believe it. It has been so nice getting to know these women and even though we've known each other a short while, they felt like instant best friends. It really made our move feel like an easy transition and was an added bonus blessing, especially when I wasn't seeking friendship.

I was seeing a massage therapist that one of my RMT's back in my hometown suggested. It was quite a commute to see her and by the time I would get back home, the massage felt like it was all undone. While I was searching for a new massage therapist and still seeing this one, I overheard a conversation from another client paying at the front desk. She mentioned that she had been in an accident and the only thing that had worked for her was IMS. I had never heard of it before and so I researched it and thought maybe it could work for me too.


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